A Nepali Wedding

On Friday we went to a Nepali wedding. This is normally a two day event but because Saturday is a holy day it was shortened to one day. We started off quite early in the day by going to the groom's house. Here the band started playing. They played all day (mostly the same song). However, the Nepali's have a sing off which is essentially banter in the form of song. It was great to listen to, but would have been a lot funnier if we could understand it!

We then rode to the bride's house on a bus. Literally on top of the bus. This isn't like riding on English buses as they are designed to have people on top and there is a rack type thing on top so that people stay there. It is slightly uncomfortable, which you don't really notice until the next day as the bottom is just metal slats. Riding on top of the bus is much more fun than in the bus and as we were going round the mountain rather than through the town you didn't really have to watch out for cables as there were none!

From where the buses stopped we walked to the bride's house. The band continued playing and this involved a lot of stopping and so the walk took a while. Good fun though, and some cool pictures. The groom was wearing a suit and so looked a bit like a Western groom except it's the first time I've seen a groom wearing sunglasses (not really that sunny) and an umbrella. He also had the traditional garland around his neck.

Once at the bride's house we got food (delicious) and then every member of the bride's family washes the bride and groom's feet. This takes a while and so we had daal bhat (traditional Nepali meal) and then wandered back when we were done. It is much more relaxed than English weddings and people were wandering around most of the time! We didn't understand much of the ceremonial stuff, but we got brilliant seats at the wedding so we could see it all. The Nepali teacher at Saraswoti is going to explain what it meant to us when we show him the pictures so it will mean a little more to us.

This is the first time that I got a good look at the bride though. She was wearing a beautiful red sari and a veil. This was very much necessary as she spent most of the time in tears. When she left her house she was completely hysterical. For her this would probably be the first time she has left her house and her village and everything she knows and she must have been terrified. The man didn't look particularly happy but he would be surrounded by people he knew the next day. She wouldn't. It's hard to condemn the culture though when you're living in it. Especially as without marriage the women's future is very uncertain here and there is much more emphasis on the family unit here as many kids had the day off school to see the wedding.

After the ceremonial stuff the bride was carried (in a metal chair) to the buses. At this point you couldn't even see her face as she had it hidden in a jumper/whatever came to hand and we all walked back to the buses. After another hour journey on top of the bus (with great views had it not been dark and getting much colder by this point) we were back at the groom's house for the party. This contains no alcohol. However, between the bride's and groom's houses there is plenty of time to drink. While we didn't the Nepali's did. Turns out it is actually possible to dance on top of a moving bus and not fall off. We didn't try this, but quite a good few of the Nepali's did as the band was also on top of the bus. Fairly entertaining and very impressive!

At the groom's house we had a party. This involved a lot of dancing, the girls and guys are mainly split but as Westerners we are counted separately. Me and Hari did dance for a very short amount of time, but the boys didn't. It's quite embarrassing when small children can dance better than you can. We got a lift home from the groom's house because the Nepali's believe in ghosts and so wouldn't allow us to walk. It was quite hard to keep a straight face at this point, but it was much appreciated. And walking back from the groom's house (by Saraswoti) in the dark would not have been much fun; we were all very tired by this point and so were very grateful for the lift.

It was amazing seeing the wedding and was a brilliant day. The Nepali's are much more family orientated and use every excuse it seems to get together. It is much more colourful and relaxed than an English wedding, with the guys making a lot of noise, but this is probably to prevent the sound of bride crying. Although she may end up being happy in a years time, it was quite sobering to see the sheer terror she felt on what is a very important day of her life.